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It comes from being yourself and liking what you are. It's not easy, so start with the surface. If you're the fresh-as-a-breeze casual type, stop straining for siren effects.
Think of the people you like. Aren't they mostly people who give of themselves--give willing help, courtesy, sincere interest, thought? But you can't experiment on a newly-met romance till you've practiced first. Look interested and be interested in what your parents are saying. You'll be brushing up on the fine art of listening, flattering to any male and dynamite on a shy one.
And, it's a groovy way to make friends.
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